Five Random Things...

When I discover a new writer, I always go straight to the “About the Author” page. After all, if I’ll be spending the next several hours inside this person’s imagination, I want to at least know a little bit about them! But let’s be honest, the information provided on the back cover is often pretty generic, and usually a little boring, mine included. So, in the spirit of fun and making new reader friends, here are five random and hopefully more interesting things about me - things you won’t find on the back cover.

1.     When a book is too suspenseful, I get stressed out and read the ending first. I always go back and read it through, but this takes the edge off so I can relax and enjoy the story without worrying about the end. I know it’s cheating!

2.     I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro for my 40th birthday. It was very, very hard. Not Everest hard, but still a huge physical and mental challenge.

3.     I’ve been married for 24 years. My husband and I were young and broke, but four kids and a lot of work later and we have a pretty terrific life. And my children are some of the finest people I know. I’ll take a little credit. In our house there aren’t many rules, but the important ones – respect, good manners, and personal accountability – are non-negotiable. Honestly, though, they are their own people and just came into the world full of awesomeness.

4.     I really am a sci-fi fan. Star Wars remains my favorite movie of all time and I consistently beat my children at Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. It’s not even a fair fight.

5.     Zombie apocalypse or alien invasion? This is a serious debate in our house, and we discuss contingency plans for both. Doesn't everyone?

Minding My Mental Health

As a young mom, I left medical school after only one year, unable to find the right balance in my life. When I found a job working in admissions and teaching Latin at the Waldorf School my kids’ attended, I was thrilled and committed. It perfectly suited my desire to be a hands-on parent and have a meaningful professional career.  But when my children got older and I started thinking about what was next for me, the only path that allowed me to fully let go of my medical school dream was writing.

As I transitioned into this new venture, I was thrilled by the creativity and flexibility I found. But working in the arts, and working from home, have both definitely had an impact on my mental health and well-being.

When I worked at the school, I had to be up and out of the house at a certain hour every day, regardless of my mood. Now, sometimes it requires a good bit of self-talk to get dressed in the mornings. With my previous job, I interacted with prospective parents, my fantastic colleagues, and my students every day. Now, I live predominantly in my own head. It’s been a huge change and a huge challenge. Don’t get me wrong, most days I love what I do and I love the lifestyle it has afforded me in terms of freedom and independence, but I’ve also had to deal with some emotional issues that I had no idea were lurking in my psyche. I think my mood swings are mostly a result of being alone for hours at a time, and they tend to be more pronounced in the winter, but they’ve become more noticeable and actually interfere with my productivity sometimes. I affectionately call the bad days “circle the drain” days.

I’ve had to resurrect some effective habits from my previous career and develop some brand new ones in order to stay productive and emotionally healthy in this writer’s life. Here are some of my tried and true methods for keeping on track and caring for myself.

I work with a calendar to keep organized.

I admit to being obsessive about working with my calendar and to-do lists, but within the framework of my calendar, I have the freedom to be creative. I’m proactive instead of reactive and I feel in control of my time. And, as importantly, I plan my down time and self-care time into my days. These activities hold just as much weight as any deadline.

Yoga is more than a workout for me.

I try to attend two to three yoga classes per week on the days I don’t go to the gym. The endorphin release of any type of exercise gives me more energy and keeps me in shape physically, but a yoga class feels like hitting the reset button. On any given day, I always feel better after yoga.

I bask in the sunshine and fresh air whenever possible.

Anytime I can, I work outside. I move my laptop and tea to the front porch and appreciate the pleasure of a warm breeze and the smell of cut grass.

Of course, I live in New England, so winters can be rough, but my hiking group goes out in just about every weather condition. As they like to say, “There’s no bad weather, only bad clothing.” While I don’t entirely embrace that sentiment, being outside with a group of people who’ve been my friends for years is something I look forward to.

I embrace my rhythm.

I’ve come to accept that I won’t always feel terrific, that I’m not always as productive as I’d like to be, and the long, dark winters take their toll.

Instead of fighting the ups and downs, I’ve tried to embrace and honor them. And instead of feeling bad about feeling bad, which only makes the feeling last longer, I let it drift through. I recognize it but don’t dwell on it (thank you yoga practice!) Hot chocolate and a workspace by the fire make those long days of winter more tolerable. Candles lit all over the house when it’s gray and rainy feel cozy. When I’m able to open the windows, I appreciate and celebrate the burst of energy and creativity that comes with the sunshine.

Community is important.

I have really wonderful friends, many that I’ve known for decades. Often, when I’m feeling down, the last thing I want to do is be with people, but usually, that’s the best antidote. Alone in my head, I lose perspective on things large and small. My friends can make me laugh, give me a good kick in the pants when I need it, or offer a much-needed break from my day to day routine. And sometimes, just working at a coffee shop, with the background bustle of people for company instead of working from home alone, is good enough. 

Shifting careers into the arts has been quite an adjustment for me. I expected there would be a change in my work habits and I expected a learning curve. I didn’t expect the impact on my mental health. Recognizing that I needed to pay attention to it and adjusting my habit life around it took some time. But now, a few years in, I wouldn’t want to do anything else!

Inside a Writer's Mind: On Working With a Calendar

“Author’s Note: This post first appeared on the Writer’s Digest Guide to Literary Agents blog on May 2, 2017.”

Nearly all the writers I know are working on multiple projects. Maybe they aren’t drafting three novels at the same time, but they might be writing articles or blog posts, submitting short stories, or drafting one novel while editing another. And, most authors today, whether traditionally or indie published, are responsible for a significant amount of their own publicity, marketing, and scheduling. Time management can feel daunting and sometimes overwhelming, especially to creative types!

My pre-writing career as the admissions director and Latin teacher at a private school helped to prepare me for the business side of the writer’s life. My days were filled with planning events, communicating with families, paperwork, writing ad copy, serving on multiple committees from HR to development, and teaching middle school Latin. Multitasking and switching “hats” from teacher to administrator to colleague became second nature, but my varied responsibilities definitely required a high level of organization and meticulous attention to my calendar. Many techniques from that career are useful now as I try to structure my time in this more creative, yet equally demanding, field.

Here are a few tips on how I work with my calendar in order to meet deadlines, manage multiple projects, and find the space I need to imagine and create:

Start with broad strokes. Define your goals and major deadlines, and then back into the details.

I begin with a yearly overview. Looking at 2016 as an example, I had to complete the draft of a novel if I wanted it released by summer 2017, I’d committed to working with a non-profit organization on an extensive series of human-interest stories, I had continuous submissions due for BCB, an online book review and interview site, and I was in the process of creating a new web-based business with a friend. There were also several conferences and conventions I wanted to attend. Once the major deadlines for all my projects were in place and travel dates blocked off, I was able to see which things needed the most attention, and when. 

I have a habit of sitting down each Sunday to plan. During that time, I scan four weeks ahead and add more detail to my calendar. A month ahead of time, I know which blog posts are due and what interviews I have scheduled, and I can clearly see any approaching deadlines. I’m then able to refine my tasks and priorities even more for the short term.

On Sundays, I also create a detailed “to-do” list for each day of the coming week. I’ll mark off chunks of time for particular projects, and look at the overall balance of the week to make sure I’ve scheduled enough time for the most urgent things.

Structure your work life to honor your personal rhythms.

Step one is recognizing you have a rhythm. A friend of mine, who works a full-time job in a different field, writes during his train commute to and from work. He plugs in the ear buds and hits an impressive daily word count. Another friend works late into the evening, when the house is quiet and everyone else is asleep.

Writing, in one capacity or another, is my full-time job now, and I’m learning a great deal about rhythm. For example, I’m productive with task-oriented items like scheduling social media in the morning, but I couldn’t solve a plot tangle before noon to save my life. Likewise, I have to keep things simple on Fridays because I’m pretty worn out, but I can often get some solid creative writing in over the weekend.

When I’m drafting a novel, I need several uninterrupted hours for my creativity to flow and to hit my daily word count. It’s tricky for me to work one hour without interruption never mind four, but I know this is what I need to do. Draft weeks wind up with a unique rhythm, and I’m often hiding at Starbucks to make it work!

I’m also noticing a rhythm to the year. Summers are busy with cons and conferences, so I can’t plan to draft a novel, but I can write blog posts and short stories. In the fall, when everyone is back to school and out of the house, I’m ready to find those uninterrupted hours and renew my affection for chai lattes.

There’s no right way to schedule your time, only the way that works best for you. When I respect my natural rhythms and organize my work life around them, I find I’m much more productive, and certainly much happier.

Leave space for the unexpected. Equally as important, know when to say no.

Your calendar will help you do this! When deciding to take on a new project, I think about two things. First, does the project resonate? Even if I’m excited and want to say yes immediately, I always sleep on it. Either my creative energy and enthusiasm will grow or it will dissipate. If I’m still interested, I have to assess the time commitment and consult my oracle, um calendar.

In general, I’m tempted to say yes to everything, but one glance at my calendar, with my current commitments highlighted, sets me straight. Either there is time or there isn’t. And if there isn’t, and I still want to do it, I have to consciously reorganize my priorities and be honest with myself about what that means.

Use the tools available to you to increase efficiency.

Because I’m actively involved in the business of my career, it can be difficult to carve enough time and space for creativity. It becomes urgent to streamline the task-oriented side of my work. Using tools like Hootsuite or CoSchedule to manage social media and content is almost essential. There’s a learning curve, of course, but in the end, the time saved is worth the investment.

I’ve also learned to use Quickbooks for my accounting. I schedule time every month to review my records and financial transactions, and once per quarter, I make an appointment with my accountant. We spend a few hours reconciling the books and assuring that everything is in order.

Of course, I’d rather be thinking about how to extricate my main character from a deadly interplanetary battle, but I have to attend to these things. If I plan them into my calendar rather than letting them sneak up on me or have them unintentionally hijack my day, I feel more in control of my time.

Schedule downtime and time for self-care. Put this on the calendar.

In my daily planner, I make sure to block off time for the gym or a yoga class every day.  I hike one morning a week with a group of friends, I belong to two book clubs, and I get together with a group of neighborhood moms once a month for dinner. All told, this works out to about two hours per day to myself, and one night a week out for fun. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not that much time.

When deadlines loom or the “to-do” list is jam-packed, it might seem practical to bump one of these things. But, I find when I do this I’m actually less productive. I need time to clear my head, time to breath some fresh air, time to laugh with my friends, and time to let go of whatever I’m working on and get some perspective.

My downtime doesn’t take last place, penciled in only after all the “work” things, but rather it holds equal importance. It has to. Much of the writer’s life is solitary. We’re alone in our own minds for a good bit of the day. This isn’t necessarily good for my mental health, so I have to be mindful to step away, seek out the company of others, and take care of myself.

Maintaining control over my time is the single most important factor impacting my productivity. When something unexpected happens – I’m sick, my kids are sick, my computer dies – I do what I have to do to get through, and as soon as possible, I sit down to re-work my calendar. My organizational habits may seem a bit obsessive, but I have more freedom to work once the infrastructure is in place. If I’m proactive as opposed to reactive with regard to managing my time, I feel less stressed, more productive, and in general, satisfied with my work-life balance.

Inside a Writer's Mind: On Writing a Sequel

People have asked whether it was easier or harder to write the second book in my series, and my honest answer is – it was both! I’ve grown so much as a writer in the time between the first book and second that, from a craft standpoint, it was easier. I’ve learned to recognize my own bad habits and correct them. I know the places where the plot might be dragging and I can add tension before my editor hits the scene with a red pen. I’m able to dive deeper into character development, and I’m willing to take more risks, knowing that if something doesn’t work, I’ll have the time and opportunity to fix it. With writing the second book, I had confidence in the process.

On the other hand, my first book, HORIZON, received some prestigious awards including the Writer’s Digest Grand Prize for Self-Published Fiction in 2016. While it was gratifying to win that award, I definitely felt like I had a lot to live up to, and I felt the stress of it when writing INFINITY. But even without the award, I’d left the first book with an ending that promised a sequel. My newfound readers and fans had an expectation that the story would continue, and I didn’t want to disappoint them. When the early reviews for INFINITY started coming in, and they were actually better than HORIZON’s, I was filled with relief!

As I begin writing the third installment in the series, I’m still working to improve. I’m writing some short fiction, which I find helps hone my skill at creating tension and crafting tight, crisp scenes. I’m guest blogging and writing material for my own web site, because any kind of writing helps keep my creative energy flowing. And I’m reading a lot. My goal as a writer is first and foremost to tell a good story. But I also hope that each book I write will be better than the last! You'll have to let me know what you think...

Comic Cons: My People Are There!

I sometimes joke that Star Wars changed my life, but I’m only half kidding. I first saw the movie when I was seven and I became instantly obsessed. Model x-wing fighters hung from my bedroom ceiling, the Millennium Falcon I built with my dad had a light-up cockpit, my Empire Strikes Back lunchbox still had its thermos, and my Princess Leia action figure was the one with the real buns - you know, fake hair instead of plastic that you could never fix after you’d messed with it. I should have saved those toys. My collection would have rivaled any I’ve seen.

Over the years, I’ve loved and binged on many other stories - the original Battlestar Galactica and the later reboot, Firefly, Buffy, Supernatural, Falling Skies, Daredevil, and Walking Dead, to name a few. When I finally attended my first Comic Con, I began to understand fandom as a phenomenon. These were my people!

I think we fans of sci-fi and fantasy, and all the sub-genres in between, are drawn to these stories not only because they spark our imagination, but because we can explore real issues from the safety and distance of another planet, or from a parallel universe, or with superpowers. We can cheer the heroes who fight the darkness, slay the dragons of our nightmares, and build a world with a place for us all. Our fandom affords us the chance to do that in community.

I write science fiction for the same reason I watch and read it. First, because it appeals to my imagination on a deep level, and second, because I can explore heroes and worlds of my own creation. I can put my characters through hell, wage wars, build and destroy entire governments, design worlds. I can exercise my demons on the page. For me, the satisfaction of creating these stories is very similar to the enthusiasm I have for other people’s stories. And having fans is as much fun as being a fan!

Cons are places where fans can interact with artists, and where people who find joy in a good story come to celebrate that story, whether it’s found on a screen, in a comic, or in a novel. Attending Cons as a fan gave me the idea that I might have success attending them as a writer. I hadn’t seen many authors selling novels at traditional Comic Cons, and I couldn’t be sure this was a crowd full of avid fiction readers, but I took an educated guess that those who did enjoy reading would be my audience.  

It was easy to talk about my stories to people who were already sci-fi fans! And, because I’m a fan too, I had many enthusiastic conversations not only about my own work in terms of influence and comparable work, but about newly trending sci-fi TV shows, movies, books, collectible, and costumes. I had as much fun behind my table as I did when I was an attendee. And I sold every book I brought with me.

Five Commandments for Balancing the Busy

I’m busy. I mean really busy. There are more things on my plate now than when my four kids were little and I was working full-time as an admissions officer and Latin teacher. The kids are mostly grown, I’m a writer now, and yet somehow I still feel busier than ever.

From a business perspective, the busy pays off. Horizon, the first novel I published, won the 2016 Writer’s Digest Grand Prize for Self Published Fiction. I’ve just released Infinity, the sequel to Horizon this past summer. I’m attending conferences, doing readings and signings at bookstores, and am plotting my next big project. I can see the fruits of my labor, and I have been lucky in just how delicious they’ve been. I love what I’m doing and I feel blessed to be doing it, so I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. I’m not.

Still, no one wants to feel exhausted the moment they open their eyes in the morning or daunted by an endless “to-do” list before the day even starts. Moreover, I find myself constantly taking stock of my role as a mom  - Am I paying attention? Am I present enough in the moment? At the end of the day, have I attended to the most important things?

These are questions moms grapple with constantly, no matter what their particular brand of ‘busy’ looks like. Whether working outside the home in a full-time job, doing so a few days a week, or going full speed ahead at home, finding balance is not easy. But it’s crucial to our personal survival and to the well-being of our family.

My own soul-searching resulted in a list of promises I’m holding myself to every day. They’re a total work in progress, but so far I’m seeing some dividends. Of course, different methods work for different people, but maybe some of these will resonate with you:

Attend to the priorities first.

There are things to do. Every day. And like most of my friends, my tasks don’t just include managing myself, but managing some of the other people who live with me. So, I have to live by my calendar and lists, and I feel much more organized when I do. I admit that my list-making borders on obsessive (doesn’t everyone have a monthly overview list, a weekly task list, and a daily schedule???). But I’ve been thinking about this lately, and I believe creating lists actually allows me to let some things go, temporarily at least. If something is written down, and I can’t attend to it at the moment, I know it isn’t lost or forgotten, it just needs rescheduling. Similarly, working with a calendar assures me I’m not going to miss something important, like a kid’s doctor appointment or my mother-in-law’s birthday! I can relax. My calendar will remind me.

With all this organization, I’m also trying to reimagine my daily time management. Rather than create an endless to-do list, I want my schedule to reflect my priorities. So, when I create that schedule, I’m attempting to allot an amount of time to each task and block out chunks of time for the most important things.

Plan the down time and unplug.

Down time has to be a priority, and I have to honor it. A few weeks ago my daughter needed to make a dish for “fiesta day” at school. When my boys were younger and had to bring treats or snacks to school, I would generally hear about this at bedtime the night before, or sometimes in the morning as we were rushing to the car. But my daughter, she’s a planner. I got the recipe a week before, a gentle reminder a few days ahead, and a “mom you got the ingredients, right?” the day before. And not only is she a planner, she’s actually helpful. We work really well together in the kitchen. The day before “fiesta day” I picked up the ingredients, and, using rule #1, I actually planned the cooking time into my schedule. Because I did this, I was able to shut everything down and really be with my daughter while we cooked together, laughed, told stories, and enjoyed each other’s company. I’ve been trying to think of cooking time now as down time. It has to be done anyway, and with a glass of wine and good company, why can’t it be a time to reconnect and pay attention to one another? I even bought a new cookbook…

Sleep on it before making a commitment to something.

This one’s been really helpful. Generally, I’m the kind of person who likes to say yes to everything. Especially now, trying to get a new career off the ground, it’s really hard to refuse any work that comes my way. But not all the projects are the right ones for me, and if I let an idea percolate for a while, the right choice becomes clear. The right projects are the ones I can’t stop thinking about. They energize me, and my creativity flows around them. The others never sit quite right. I’ve learned to listen to my gut, but it requires my first answer to always be, “let me sleep on that and I’ll get back to you.”

Laugh more.

Research suggests that laughter is good for your health! Laughter not only feels good, it changes my perspective. And, while it’s really wonderful to laugh with other people, in a pinch, I’m happy to laugh all by myself. I fall out of my chair when I read those autocorrect snafus that are posted online. And I’ve recently discovered a Star Wars bloopers reel that I find absolutely hysterical. When I need to take a break, rather than fill my head with the negativity that is so pervasive in the media and online, I look for laughter and levity.

Don’t wish it away.

Don’t get me wrong - I have perspective on this one. I had the stomach bug the other day and I definitely wished that shit away immediately! But I’m talking garden-variety challenges - the stress that comes from being part of a family, having a career, raising children - the day-to-day stuff that can sometimes just wear us down. For example, we have a small (ahem) construction project happening right now. It’s over budget, my yard’s torn up, my house is dirty from the work, and I’m hosting a huge party back there for two of my kids in another month. Because those two kids are graduating. And then they are moving, one to the other side of the country. The project will be done in a few weeks, and a few weeks after that, my household will look completely different. It’s as it should be. My older boys are following their dreams and I couldn’t be more excited for them. But I don’t want to miss out on these last few weeks with my whole family living under one roof together for the last time. If I focus on hurrying along the discomfort, I might miss the joy in the moment. And really, life’s just too short for that!

Genre Bending and Storytelling

What genre are the Horizon books? I’m often asked that question, and while they solidly belong on the shelves next to other science fiction novels, they’re actually much more! I first heard the term “space opera” at a pitch slam a few years ago. A pitch slam is like speed dating with agents. The writer gets three minutes, live, in front of an agent, to enthusiastically rattle off all the important facts about her novel, while making it sound so compelling that the agent simply must ask to see the manuscript!

“Ah, you have a space opera,” one agent nodded at me, smiling.

“Yes. Yes I do,” I agreed, and then proceeded to google space-opera at the next break!

Turns out space opera is a sub-genre of sci-fi, hence the “space” part, that also contains elements of warfare, drama, and adventure. Think Star Wars! Horizon and Infinity certainly fall under this category. But even with this added scope, I still struggle to classify the series as such - mostly because I think the story will appeal to readers of many genres, not just sci-fi.

I was once asked to describe my story in ten words, and here’s what I came up with: Science fiction meets romance meets survival fiction meets military thriller! It’s a human story, painted on a science fiction canvas. But to tell it the way I wanted, I had to worry less about genre and more about authentically creating my characters and their worlds. The relationship between Caeli and Derek, the two protagonists, is central to the story. I didn’t want to water it down or put less of a focus on it to please a segment of my audience. On the other hand, I didn’t want to lose or disappoint readers who were counting on a sci-fi action adventure.

Ultimately, my goal is always to tell a good story, and I think readers are willing to give something a try if they believe that’s what they’ll get. So, step aboard the starship Horizon, and join Caeli and Derek as they fight for their lives, their people, and their love. And, please, let me know what you think!

I'm in There! - Authenticity in a Fictional World

I’m often asked where and when my personal experiences influence my writing, and how they add authenticity and believability to my work. Since I write science fiction, obviously much of the material comes directly from my overactive imagination! However, there’s a good deal of survival fiction in my novels. Although I haven’t had to run for my life through the uninhabited wilderness, like my protagonist Caeli in the Horizon series, I did draw on my own experiences growing up in a rural area and my later experiences hiking and camping.

As kids, my friends and I would explore acres of forest, gather berries by the bucketful, and spend entire days outside, returning home only when the sun set. The smell of pine needles and dirt still conjure memories of childhood. When Caeli was hiding in the forest for a significant part of my first novel, Horizon, and then had to cautiously trek through that same wilderness to find the resistance movement’s hidden camp in the second book, Infinity, I knew this part of the story needed to be particularly authentic. I wanted readers to squint at the bright sun, feel the biting wind on their faces, smell the muddy river water, and hear boots crunch across the frosty fields.

Like Caeli, I’ve had to find water, make a fire, set up camp, and search for food. Unlike Caeli, I wasn’t fleeing from a ruthless army at the same time! As an adult, I’ve camped on the uninhabited islands off the coast of Maine all the way down to the Blue Ridge Mountains, I’ve summited Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa, and I hike locally every week with a group of friends. Every one of these experiences informed and inspired my writing. There’s a particular scene in Horizon where Caeli is teaching Derek, the pilot she’s rescued, how to carve a spoon from a chunk of wood. I have a drawer full of hand carved spoons from my own adventures, and I actually imagined this scene for the book while I was sitting around a campfire whittling utensils. 

Another aspect of the Horizon series that I felt needed to be well researched and accurate were the medical scenes. I chose to keep my characters human, with physical anatomies similar to ours, so when I made Caeli a healer, and had her dealing with emergencies on a regular basis, I drew from my own experiences as an EMT. And here’s a little secret: I’m a medical school dropout. Attending med school with young children proved, for me, an impossible task. I don’t regret my decision at all, but I’m particularly vigilant about describing authentic trauma scenes in my stories. And when I’m not sure about a treatment or procedure, I call my brother-in-law, who did finish medical school and is a practicing physician!

I have great latitude as a science fiction writer. The worlds I imagine aren’t real. But to bring readers along for the ride, and ask them to suspend their belief for the duration of the journey, the places I create must feel authentic. I’ve tried to infuse my writing with color and life drawn from my own real-world experiences to do this. You’ll have to let me know what you think!

Inside a Writer’s Mind – On Editing

I actually like editing. The bones of my book are already there, and at that point, I know I have a good story. I’ve worked out the major plot tangles and character arcs, defined the conflicts, and sorted the ending. It may not be smooth yet, but I know where I’ve started, where I’ve ended up, and I have a lot of good, if raw, material in the middle.

It’s out. I’ve birthed a novel. Well, I’ve birthed a manuscript anyway. I know it’s a long way from the finished product.

Editing will take that raw material and refine it, smooth out the flow, and create balance. I know that my fantastic editor will see the things I can’t and cue me to fix them. I know that when I’ve finished this process I will have a much better book. I know that I can get through it because I’ve done it before.

And yet, when I turn in the draft of my manuscript, after months of intensive work, I don’t even want to think about touching it again. I’m exhausted, and the thought of tearing it apart and reassembling it is daunting. It’s also the time where I am plagued by the most crippling self-doubt. What if it’s terrible? What if I have to scrap the whole thing and start over? I’ll never write again. I have no talent. And so it goes…

Inside my head, it’s a strange and dark place during those few weeks. At first, I’m elated that I’ve finished writing, and can confirm with myself that yes, I did it again. I wrote another book. Almost immediately, the doubt sets in. See above. Then, I actually receive the manuscript back from my editor. Let me say this about my editor before I go any further. She’s incredibly skilled at her job. She gets my vision for the story and helps me define it more clearly. She works with the structure of the whole, while digging into the subtle, fine details. She’s masterful and I love her.

But when I get her five-page editorial document filled with commentary, and my own manuscript, covered in red-ink, back from her, I want to cry. I want to call her on the phone immediately and beg her to tell me she loves me and I don’t suck. I’m sure she’s pleased when I refrain from doing those things.

Instead, I read what she’s sent me thoroughly, and then I put it aside for a few days, maybe a week. I let the ideas percolate. I begin to see the places where what she’s suggesting resonates with what I already knew. I take it seriously when she reacts to something in a way I didn’t intend. I recognize my own bad writing habits.

Creative ideas for how to fix things start to flow, in the same way they did when I wrote the draft. I scribble notes everywhere, from the backs of napkins to the little pad I keep by my bed for middle of the night inspiration. I form a plan of attack. Then I call my editor. We talk. We even laugh. And I remember that I love writing, and I’m reassured that I might just have some small bit of skill at it.