Five Things - July 15, 2024

Welcome to my blog titled “Five Things” where you can expect just that - five random musings or reflections from the previous week or so. For a photo gallery of our life on the road, our pets, and miscellaneous things I find interesting, you can also follow me on Instagram @tabithalord.

So here are this week’s five things…

1. We are officially in Rhode Island for the summer! In some ways, it feels like we never left, and in others, I feel a little displaced. It’s home but not really home anymore, if that makes sense? Regardless, summer is in full swing here, and since it’s the Ocean State, I look forward to lazy days on the beach, barbecues with family and friends, music, concerts, and lots of laughter. I know time is going to fly, so I’m attempting to live in the moment, soak up the sunshine, and enjoy it all – just as soon as I get back from residency.

2. Residency is almost here! I’ve completed the rather daunting reading list, caught up on all my assignments, participated in the summer online classes and discussion boards, and I am finishing up the short story due in a few days. I’m really excited to meet my cohort in person and dive into the coursework more deeply. I’ll let you know how it goes.

3. One of the fun things about this grad school program is the discussion board conversations we’ve been having online. We recently had one on vulnerability, something I’ve blogged about many times in the past. I’ll share my small part of the conversation here as I think it’s relevant to all creative types.

   We are not our work, but creative work can feel more personal to us, closer to our hearts. Even when writing genre fiction to entertain our readers, there is still something of ourselves woven into it in a way that's different from other types of work. Layer onto this the fact that in the writing/publishing field there is a very real intersection between art and industry, and that space can be uncomfortable. I've learned I need to behave differently, and think about what I'm doing differently, when I'm creating vs. when I'm working on the business side of things. When I'm writing, I do so with discipline but also with the heart of an artist. I am creating. It's my process. It's my art. I want it to be the best it can be, but I am not thinking about my agent, the publishing house, the current trends, marketing, promo etc. Not yet. But I will think about those things, and I will have to shift my mindset. Rejection is part of the process. Bad sales are an opportunity to learn more about the market. A bad review might have a nugget of truth worth thinking about, or it might be an opportunity to remember my work isn't for everyone. It's always a choice to take things personally, to be upset, angry, frustrated when things don't go as we'd hoped, but it's also a choice to show up and do the work professionally, to be open to learning, and to keep creating.

4. The short story I’m working on is a creepy horror piece. I don’t write a lot of horror but every once in a while the dark side of my brain latches onto an idea, and I can’t let it go. Sinking into that space is a little unnerving, but there’s also something very satisfying about writing outside my comfort zone. I have to share this piece at residency, and I honestly don’t know how it will be received, but I do feel like it will be an opportunity for me to grow as a writer, and that’s the whole point of my new endeavor.

5. "We may never be strong enough to be entirely nonviolent in thought, word, and deed. But we must keep nonviolence as our goal and make strong progress towards it." - Mahatma Gandhi

Monday Musings 6-20-22

There are many wonderful things about working in the modern era – quick communication, the ability to connect with people all over the world anytime, a more flexible work life for some of us. The down-side, at least for me, is never shutting down completely. I can get emails on the weekends and in the evenings. I can work off my laptop from an airplane, a hotel room, or my bed. This is both freeing and exhausting.

Every job comes with some vacation time as part of the deal. Everyone recognizes the need to step away and make time for activities outside our professional life. We can set our email with an “I’m out of the office” auto-response. We can turn our smartphones to airplane mode. We can lounge on a beach chair with a cocktail, laptop safely stashed in a hotel room. But when I’m creating something, I’m often in the zone, so to speak, and I don’t want to shut down completely. I’ve learned that taking a break as a creative type often looks and feels a little different than taking a vacation from other jobs.

I’ve had to consider what I need to do in order to feel refreshed and energized in my writing life. Occasionally, it is a few days away unplugged with no thought to deadlines, edits, or my work in progress. More often than not though, the thought of stepping away completely is stressful.

I’ve learned that taking a break doesn’t have to mean doing nothing. Sometimes I’m exhausted from one particular project, and turning my attention to something fresh is just the change of pace I need to feel the creativity flow again. For example, if I’ve just finished a full-length novel, I might write a short story in a different genre. If I’m heavy into edits, I might play around with an outline for a new novel. Some parts of the writing process are themselves rejuvenating and nourishing.

When I’m actually on a vacation, like away from my house with a little umbrella drink in hand, it’s a pleasure to find writing time by the pool in the morning or out on the deck in the afternoon. The change of scenery feeds my imagination. The long days, with only the sunshine and a story swirling in my head, feel luxurious. I want to write. It’s joyful under these conditions.

Sometimes, reading, enjoying a good television series, watching a movie, or attending another author’s book signing all provide opportunities for me to take a break from my own work and renew myself with someone else’s. Taking a break these days really means finding a way to refresh, recharge, and rejuvenate myself. There’s no right way to do that, only the way that works in the moment.

IN OTHER NEWS:

My alter ego, Maggie Clare, has a new book coming out tomorrow. If romantic suspense is your thing, check out Moving Target!

If you’d like signed copies of my books, you can order them through my websites: tabithalordauthor.com or ms.maggieclare.com.

I’m available for book club events and other speaking engagements. Feel free to reach out!

Monday Musings 6-6-22

As a writer, working with my summer schedule has proven to be a something of a challenge. Travel picks up, kids are home to visit, graduations, parties, and barbecues fill the weeks. Trying to consistently carve out extended writing time is next to impossible, so I’ve learned to adapt.

I like to think about my creative life in terms of seasons. Over the years, I’ve learned to work with my personal rhythms, on a daily, weekly, and seasonal schedule. When I honor that rhythm, my productivity over time is really good. I think it’s important to manage my schedule from both a short term and long game perspective.

I’m most productive in the fall. The crisp days and my quiet house recharges me. I pack my writing schedule during this time of year and take advantage of my energy level. Summer feels different. I want to enjoy the backyard barbeques and yes, maybe, a few more cocktails, so planning to generate a lot of content just isn’t realistic. However, I am very creative in the summer. I love to bring my laptop onside and write on the porch or take it with me on vacation and sit on the pool deck. Summer reminds me that although writing is my actual job now, I still find great joy it.

I’ve also learned to create realistic goals in the summer. I have to be honest with myself. I can’t complete the entire first draft of a manuscript while the kids are home to visit, or while my in-laws have come for a vacation. I’ve accepted that it’s okay to simply want some time off, and I set my goals accordingly.

I look forward to the summer. I love the sunshine, the warm weather, the beach, and the slower feel to my days. I also look forward to the creative burst I feel at this time of year. By honoring the way I work best, and planning accordingly, I feel less stress and more joy during my favorite time of year.

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time." —John Lubbock

Monday Musings 8-30-21

It’s another month with five Mondays, which means I get to write a cross-over blog for Monday Musings and Dear Maggie!

Although summer doesn’t officially end until September 22nd, this week feels like the transition to fall, at least in our house. We’ve just returned from dropping kid #3 off at college on the west coast, and kid #4 begins her senior year of high school tomorrow. While this isn’t our first rodeo moving a kid into school, we’ve always come back to a full house and business as usual with the younger kids still at home. But with our youngest a very independent senior, the house is quiet in a way it’s never been before.

In a previous blog, which you can read here, I talked about experiencing two very different emotions at the same time. Accepting that opposite feelings could co-exist, or that I could easily slip from one to the other, helped me navigate a particularly challenging time for our family.

Now, I regularly fluctuate between nostalgia and excitement. On the one hand, I can’t believe our time as parents of young children is nearly up. On the other hand, I am so excited about this next phase in our life. My husband and I have worked hard to create a marriage that’s satisfying to us as individuals and as a couple, and is about more than raising kids together. We love where we are, and we miss our kids at the same time. The idea that we can experience both things simultaneously validates each.

As our children enter the next phase of their lives, we have found a new joy in watching them pursue their dreams, discover their passions, fall in love, and grow into amazing young adults.

“To raise a child who is comfortable enough to leave you means you’ve done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach to soar on their own.” - author unknown

Here are some of my favorite photos from last week!

Monday Musings 8-16-21

I can’t believe it’s the middle of August already. As usual, my summer to-do list isn’t anywhere near complete. You’d think I’d have learned the ‘don’t-bite-off-more-than-you-can-chew’ lesson by now. After all, I’ve been writing full time for over five years. But no, I still have delusions of grandeur at the start of every summer season, only to be somewhat frustrated by the end. Next year, I’m going to remind myself to read this post before I begin planning!

Okay, so my list will have to carry over to the fall, which really is my most productive season anyway, but in the meantime, I’ve had to reframe my thinking…

If I look at all my various work projects, friendships, family relationships, volunteer obligations, and travel plans as if they are campfires, my job is to keep a tiny ember alive for each. I can’t manage them all as roaring flames. But, if I do enough to keep the embers warm, when I am ready to give one my full attention, it will flare back to life.

My focus right now is on getting one of my kids packed up and ready for a cross-country college move. I don’t have much time to see my friends, but a quick note to say I’m thinking of them and can’t wait to plan a lunch date in few weeks goes a long way. They understand, just as I would. I also haven’t had much time to create new content, but I write a little bit each day just to keep my head in the game. Soon, my priorities will shift, and my time and energy will be refocused. Hopefully, my new manuscript will flare back to life like the campfire flame!

For me, the summer season is a full one, and to be honest, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Making peace with what that means for my productivity has taken me years, but I think I’ve finally worked it out!

Here are some summer photos! We’ve been busy indeed. Daisy dog is settling in, and Comic Con was a blast. We visited family in Florida, attended a fab summer wedding here on the beach, and barbecued many times!

Monday Musings 8-31-20

I can’t believe today is the last day of August! When I sat on the front porch this morning, I could feel the change in the air. As fall approaches, I’ve been reflecting on this COVID summer. When all my travel and book promotional events had to be cancelled, I consciously adapted my expectations and revised my goals for the season. Now, standing on the other side, I’m reviewing, assessing, and planning for the fall.

Naturally, I’ve been obsessing over the things I didn’t accomplish, like finishing my latest manuscript. I’ve never been able to produce a lot of content during the summer, but I thought this year, with no travel, I might be able to do more. Turns out, I’m still not all that productive a writer during the summer season.

Okay, so the manuscript is only half finished, but I was busy! My habit, so I don’t get too down on myself, is to review the things I did accomplish right after the list of things I did not. This summer, I worked with an amazing team of educators to prepare our school for reopening. I took on more responsibility at Inkitt, where I am the managing editor for the writer’s blog. I launched two more books in my new romantic suspense series. I read several interesting novels and interviewed a couple of fabulous authors. I started working with a team to plan RI’s Virtual Expo. I rebooked all my travel for next year.

More importantly, I also spent good quality time with my family and close friends. We barbecued, swam, laughed, and yes, drank a bit more than we should have. All in all, for a summer filled with uncertainty and challenge, I came out of it no worse for the wear, and for this, I am very grateful.

I’ll spend the rest of the week planning what I need to accomplish this fall, but for today, I am going to appreciate the crisp air, blue sky, and these last few days of summer.

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” -Melody Beattie

Monday Musings 8-17-20

Every year in the middle of August, around now actually, I start to feel as if time is galloping away at top speed. The summer is winding down. The changeover to fall is in the air. Sure, we have some scorching days, backyard BBQs, and beach time left, but September is in sight.

Don’t get me wrong, I love fall. I love the crisp days, my renewed interest in cooking, the productivity in my work life. I love apple picking, football season, and mulled cider. I love the changing leaves, pumpkins, and dressing up for Halloween. My trepidation isn’t really about the change of seasons at all, it’s about the way I can feel time passing by in such a visceral way.

This year, I am torn between wanting to draw out time, and feeling a desperate urge to speed things forward. This hasn’t been the easiest timeline for me, or for anyone else on planet Earth. A resurgence in the virus is a very real concern. My inability to travel has directly impacted my career. I haven’t seen my two oldest children since Christmas. The list goes on. But, I am acutely aware that tomorrow isn’t promised and this moment is a gift, so savoring the here and now, mindfully choosing how to spend my time, and fully embracing the present with all its challenges, is how I am striving to show up.

“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live.” Dalai Lama

Monday Musings 6-29-20

In addition to fiction writing, I’m also the managing editor for a writer’s blog. Last week, I asked each of the bloggers, myself included, to write about their plans for the summer. How were they approaching their projects in light of Covid? How were they making up for the in-person events they would normally attend? How were they planning to refill their creative wells?

Their responses were varied, but there were a few things I noticed in common. Everyone was planning to look for new opportunities to connect. Everyone felt like they could actually write something this summer, as opposed to the beginning of the pandemic when most of us felt shell-shocked. Everyone was trying to adapt their own habits to meet this new reality.

There was also an underlying tone of uncertainty in our articles. None of us know what this pandemic means for us long term - personally, professionally, emotionally. We’re keeping the fear at bay by pushing forward, finding new ways to work, adapting. But, the fear is still there. Most of the photos we chose to go with our posts last week were a bit dark and ominous, even if the writing was mostly upbeat.

The sun is shining. We are attempting to find our equilibrium in these uncertain times. We’re thinking creatively. But the fear is still there. Or maybe we can reverse that sentiment. The fear is still there, but we are bravely attempting to navigate through it.

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
— Nelson Mandela

Monday Musings 6-22-20

Over the years, I’ve learned to think about my creative life in terms of seasons. When I honor my personal, seasonal rhythm, my productivity over time is really good. It’s been an effective method. I create a lot of content in the fall when the days are crisp and my house is quiet. I allow myself a gentler pace during the cold, dark days of winter. I spend a lot of time on the business side of things during spring. And summer, well, summer is usually my favorite season.

My summers have been filled with conferences, conventions, book tours, and signings. Being with other writers or my own fans helps me recharge. Summer is generally the season when I remember that although writing is my job now, I still find great joy in it.

This summer, things are different, and Covid is already taking a toll on my professional life. But, I live in coastal New England, a beautiful part of the world, especially in the summertime. For years, I’ve wanted to spend the entire summer here instead of traveling, and this year, well, I don’t have a choice. So, I am going to look for the gift in this challenging time. I’m going to appreciate the longer days, the slower pace, and the ability to spend hours outdoors. I’m going to imagine I’m on a writing retreat and sink into my project. I’m going to let go of my expectations. Without them, I’m free to embrace the season in a new way.

“Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don’t fight them. Just find a new way to stand.” - Oprah Winfrey 

Monday Musings 5-25-20

Summer is just around the corner, and if you’ve been following this blog for a while, you know it’s my favorite time of year. I look forward to concerts, book events, Comic Cons, beach trips, and travel to see my older kids and sister. This year, none of that is happening. Of course, I’m disappointed and sad, mostly that I won’t get to be with my family in person, but I get that it’s what we have to do.

My husband and I have always said we should stick close to home in the summer because it’s the best time to be here, and yet we end up traveling for most of it. Well, here’s our chance! So, instead of dwelling on what I can’t do, I’m making a conscious effort to reframe my perspective and enjoy what I can do.

Summer in our home state is gorgeous, and we have a pretty awesome backyard setup, complete with pool, patio, and fire pit. We can gather here with our small group and be together. We can appreciate the sunshine and slower pace of summer. We can walk our neighborhood and sit on the porch with a glass (or bottle) of wine. We can recognize and appreciate our health. We can plant a garden. We take a deep breath. We can laugh and swim and have dinner on the deck. We can love one another. It’s enough.

“It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.” - Sheryl Crow, Soak up the Sun

Monday Musings 8-26-19

This morning it feels like fall has already arrived. While we have a few more days of summer vacation left before the routine of school and sports and kids’ activities officially begins, we can all feel it in the air. I’ll be sad to see summer fade, but it was a good one. We filled our days with barbecues, family, friends, swimming, and amusement parks, and our nights with fires, s’mores, concerts, and more than a few bottles of good wine. Yes, we all worked. It was Comic Con season for me, and those can be exhausting, but still, the different rhythm of summer provides a needed change, a break from the routine.

Now, along with the crisp days of autumn, I look forward to my most productive writing season. Over the course of my professional life, I’ve learned that I work best when I honor my personal rhythms. When I recognize that there is a natural time when I am most creative and a time when I need to slow down, I feel more balanced and ultimately, in the long run, more productive.

Here’s a section from a post I wrote a while ago titled Inside a Writer’s Mind: On Working with a Calendar. The focus of the article was about taking control of our time, but this particular section focused on honoring our natural rhythms. As we head into fall, which for many of us means an uptick in activity and overall busyness, I think it’s worth sharing.

Structure Your Work Life to Honor Your Personal Rhythms

Step one is recognizing you have a rhythm. A friend of mine, who works a full-time job in a different field, writes during his train commute to and from work. He plugs in the ear buds and hits an impressive daily word count. Another friend works late into the evening, when the house is quiet and everyone else is asleep.

Writing, in one capacity or another, is my full-time job now, and I’m learning a great deal about rhythm. For example, I’m productive with task-oriented items like scheduling social media in the morning, but I couldn’t solve a plot tangle before noon to save my life. Likewise, I have to keep things simple on Fridays because I’m pretty worn out, but I can often get some solid creative writing in over the weekend.

When I’m drafting a novel, I need several uninterrupted hours for my creativity to flow and to hit my daily word count. It’s tricky for me to work one hour without interruption never mind four, but I know this is what I need to do. Draft weeks wind up with a unique rhythm, and I’m often hiding at Starbucks to make it work!

I’m also noticing a rhythm to the year. Summers are busy with cons and conferences, so I can’t plan to draft a novel, but I can write blog posts and short stories. In the fall, when everyone is back to school and out of the house, I’m ready to find those uninterrupted hours and renew my affection for chai lattes.

There’s no right way to schedule your time, only the way that works best for you. When I respect my natural rhythms and organize my work life around them, I find I’m much more productive, and certainly much happier.

Here’s a link to the whole article: Inside a Writer’s Mind. Even though I wrote it with other creative types in mind, the tips come from my work as a teacher, school administrator, mom, and eventually, writer. I hope they’re helpful. Enjoy these last few days of summer!