Five Things - November 5, 2023

Welcome to my blog titled “Five Things” where you can expect just that - five random musings or reflections from the previous week or so. In addition, at the end of the blog, I’ll keep a running itinerary of our travel plans. For a photo gallery of our life on the road, our pets, and miscellaneous things I find interesting, you can follow me on Instagram @tabithalord.

So here are this week’s five things…

1. Last weekend was RI Comic Con. It’s the first time I haven’t attended this particular event in probably six years. My writer pals sent me goofy pictures, videos, and notes from their adventures. Although I know I am where I should be in my personal and professional life, I was truly sad not to be there with them.

2. Since flying to RI a few weeks ago for a friend’s birthday party, I’ve found myself really missing my Meadowbrook community. I’ve been involved there as a parent, a volunteer, an employee, or Board member for over twenty years, and this marks the first time since discovering the school for our then five-year-old son that I haven’t had a hand in the day-to-day operations or long range planning. The Meadowbrook community comprised most of my friend group. It helped guide me as a parent, as a professional, and it changed the way I looked at educating children. Meadowbrook is a beacon of light at a time when the world really needs it, and I’m so grateful for the time I spent there.

3. We’re currently camped out in the Emerald City, otherwise known as Seattle. While the weather is typical Pacific Northwest rainy, it’s as beautiful as I remember. We always have a good time because Ray’s brother and wife also live here. The four of us met in college, so, in addition to being family, we’ve also been friends for a hundred years or so and can party together like rock stars!

4. Looking ahead to the holidays, I’m thinking about how to decorate our tiny home for Christmas. There isn’t much room, but we can manage a few bows of garland, some holly berries, and twinkle lights. I’m also ready to queue up the Holiday Station on satellite radio! Celebrating the holidays will look a little different this year for sure, but I’m really excited to create some new memories.

5. I’ll be teaching a Zoom webinar titled “Editing: Soup to Nuts” on Wednesday, November 15th at 7 pm EST. It’s only 90 minutes and very reasonably priced (only $35) for as much information as I can pack into the time slot! So, if you or anyone you know have interest, please follow this LINK to register. Here’a a description… For many authors, the editing process is a daunting one, but a well edited manuscript can mean the difference between a book that’s ready for the world and a document that sits in a drawer collecting dust. Let’s talk about the different parts of the editing process and how to successfully find and work with an editor. We’ll also spend time discussing the goals of a developmental edit and how to work effectively with beta readers or critique partners. Learn practical techniques that will help make the editing process efficient, effective, and satisfying!

Our Itinerary, subject to change:

October 30 - November 12: Seattle, WA

November 12 - 19: Travel to Orange, CA

November 19 - January 3, 2024: Orangeland Park, CA

January 3 - 14: Oceanside, CA

January 19 - February 2: San Diego, CA

February 2 - 16: Palm Springs, CA

February 16 - March 1: Las Vegas, NV

March 1 - March 5: Meteor Crater, AZ

March 5 - 15: Albuquerque, NM

March 15 - 17: Amarillo, TX

March 17 - 24: Oklahoma City, OK

March 24 - April 5: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX

April 5 - 12: Fredericksburg, TX

April 12 - 19: Hot Springs, AK

“Not all those who wander are lost.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

Monday Musings 6-21-21

All our children are together with us for the first time since Christmas 2019. Our oldest is 28 and the youngest 17. Ray and I were reflecting on just how long we’ve been parents! Those years, when the kids were little, were both wonderful and exhausting. They seemed to go on forever and yet pass in the blink of an eye.

At this juncture, where they are all young adults (or pretty close), I feel nostalgic. On the one hand, I miss spending family time at the aquarium or the zoo or various ball fields. I miss snow days and beach days and bedtime stories. On the other hand, I love where I am in my life right now, and I love seeing my children launch into their adult lives. I love their wonderful significant others. I love watching them grow their careers, and I am so curious to see what they will do.

My nostalgia does not hold regret, and for that I am grateful. Things certainly weren’t perfect, but we had a full, wonderful, messy time of it when our family was younger, and it is exactly right that the kids are where they are now, doing what they’re doing. I think we helped them grow big, brave wings, and they feel free to fly.

Fair winds and following seas to our oldest Nick, who’ll be deploying this summer. So proud of this guy, and so pleased he has found an amazing partner in Leslie. Congratulations to Noah, and his lovely Brynne, on their 2020 graduation from Dodge College of Film. Happy birthday and congratulations to RJ, who graduated from high school and turned 19 on the same day. And last, but not least, our sweet, talented Kyra will be a senior next year! She managed to navigate a challenging COVID junior year with strength and grace. My heart (and my house) is full.

In other news….

I have a big birthday coming up, and guess what I’m getting? Little Daisy is almost ready to travel. We can’t wait to meet her! And yes, I realize I am slowly replacing my human kids with fur babies.

Monday Musings 7-6-20

Today is my birthday. It’s the year before a really big one, so naturally I’ve been reflecting a lot about this past decade…

I ushered in my 40s by summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro with my sister and two close friends on my birthday nine years ago. At the time, I could feel my life changing around me. Instead of trying to hang on to something that was out of my control anyway, I chose instead to embrace the potential for something new. My children were growing up, some moving out. I loved my career, but it had chosen me, not the other way around. I found myself wondering what my choice would be if I could make a different one. I needed space to clear out my head. I wanted to connect deeply to the world around me, and to be utterly disconnected at the same time. So, I climbed. It was hard, really hard, and it was also breathtakingly beautiful - a metaphor for life I guess. I didn’t return with any earth-shattering revelations, but I did return with a deep sense of accomplishment and inner peace. A few weeks later, I wrote my very first blog post, which a travel and climbing magazine published - a sign of things to come!

As I wind down this decade, more change is in the air. My body feels age in a different way. All but one of my kids is an adult, and she’s right on the cusp. I’ve had to let go of some things permanently, like ever returning to medical school. Some ships have sailed, and that’s okay, because letting them go made space for other things. I’ve rediscovered my inner artist, and she’s building a satisfying career. My husband and I never really had a chance to enjoy being a couple before we had children, and we have that now. I have deep, meaningful friendships.

As I contemplate the next decade, sure there’s some fear. I think it comes with facing our own mortality in a much more concrete way. But I’m also looking forward to it. I have always lived fully, throwing myself whole-heartedly into my work, my family, the experiences presented to me, and I have no intention of showing up in the world any other way.

“Life isn’t meant to be lived perfectly…but merely to be LIVED. Boldly, wildly, beautifully, uncertainly, imperfectly, magically LIVED.” ― Mandy Hale

Monday Musings 6-15-20

This week, my third son will turn eighteen. Having a relatively large family, our kids are a study in nature vs. nurture. Each of them are similar in many ways, and yet so very different. Watching them grow into young adults, discover their talents, and become independent, thoughtful, creative human beings has been an honor and pleasure.

This particular almost-adult of ours is kind and nurturing. We sometimes call him the baby whisperer because little kids and baby animals adore him, and the feeling is mutual. He’s the kid who notices when I need help - not with household chores necessarily, and don’t get me started on his messy room, but he’s there for the things that matter. “Momma I’ve got your back” is a line he uses regularly, and he does.

He’s a kid with a kind heart. In fact, kindness is his super-power. In eighth grade, he was paired with a first grade reading buddy for the school year. At the middle-school graduation, his “buddy” was in tears. RJ invited him on stage and held him on his lap for the whole ceremony, becoming this boy’s beloved babysitter for years afterward.

RJ was and still is a good athlete. I remember a particular baseball game just after he’d been bumped up to the next level of play early one Little League season. A boy from his old team, who had just finished a game on the adjacent field, noticed RJ. He excitedly relayed to his dad that, “RJ was a big guy and had gotten the call.” This little boy was chubby and short, wearing glasses as big as his face, and seemingly uncomfortable in his own skin. His sweet dad ruffled his hair and said, “You’re gonna be a big guy someday too. Want to watch RJ for a little while?” They did. At the end of the inning, RJ caught sight of this little boy and came right to the fence to greet him. “It means a lot that you came to watch me play. Thanks so much, buddy.” That little guy’s smile lit up the bleachers.

A neighbor once said she’d heard I had the kindest kids in the neighborhood, and after meeting RJ, she agreed this was so. It’s no small thing to be kind in this world, and kindness with the courage to act is even more special. Our boy shows us this with his beautiful soul. Happy eighteenth birthday RJ!

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention.” - Kahlil Gibran

Monday Musings 3-30-20

Birthday season continues in our house! Today is my oldest son’s 27th birthday. All my kids are special, of course, but this one made me a mother. I still remember feeling both overwhelming love and abject terror when I held him for the first time. There is no other moment like it in the world.

This child of mine is sensitive, strong, thoughtful, kind, and responsible. He sometimes worries that he hasn’t figured out his life yet, which has prompted some great conversations between us over the years. We talk a lot about the right balance between planning for the future and living in the moment.

The current world crisis has challenged us to think about this idea very consciously. We’re living in one prolonged moment of pause, while at the same time, we’re trying to envision an uncertain future. We’ve had to simplify our lives, take refuge in our homes, and try to quiet our minds amidst the chaos. When we eventually emerge on the other side, things will have changed in ways none of us can predict. There will be loss. There will be opportunity.

This pandemic will be a defining moment in our lives and in the lives of our children. But I think the next generation will meet the challenges with resiliency, flexible thinking, and earnestness. I trust that they will adapt, and I believe they will make the world better, not worse. My own kids have given me this faith.

Happy birthday, Nick. I’m so proud to be your mom.

Monday Musings 12-23-19

I’m writing this from my hotel room in Folsom, CA, where we’ll be spending Christmas at my sister’s house. This is the first Christmas in 26 years that we won’t be in our own home for the holiday. When my kids were little, that was my one uncompromising requirement - they would wake up in their own beds on Christmas morning and celebrate in our home. We’d travel for other holidays sometimes, but Christmas was non-negotiable. We’d host anyone who wanted to come, and for all these years, they did.

Well, the kids are all mostly grown-up now, and they’ve had a childhood full of Christmas memories, just as I’d hoped. With my sister and two of my boys now living on the west coast, it felt like the right time to try something different.

Last night, my husband and I sat at the hotel bar with all the kids and laughed for nearly the entire time, until they basically closed the place up around us. As parents, we often look back and think about what we could have done differently, how we may have handled something better, how we might have failed our kids in some way or another. But last night, sitting together watching the love my kids have for one another, I am sure we did something very right.

Wishing you and your family love and joy this holiday season.

Monday Musings 7-22-19

I found a picture recently that my husband took of me and our four kids when they were little. We’re piled on the bed with our new kitten. For perspective, my kids are now 26, 21, 17, and 15, and that kitty is 9 years old. I remember that particular moment, and I remember my kids being little like it was yesterday. Cliched I know, but true.

Last winter, Ray and I took a walk through our neighborhood one morning after a snowstorm. School was cancelled for our teenagers so they were in bed, and probably wouldn’t make an appearance until noon. As we wandered the empty streets, bleary eyed parents chased bundled up kids through the fresh snow. Those parents looked tired and frazzled, and we got teary-eyed. I don’t want to go back to an earlier point in my life. I’m really happy with where I am now. We’ve worked hard to get here. But with every birthday that comes and goes, I truly feel the passage of time.

When my kids saw this same picture, they made comments like how much they missed being all together now that two have moved out permanently. They feel it too, this change over time. I don’t think they necessarily want to go back either, but remembering helps us appreciate the sweetness and the ephemeral quality of those moments. Maybe remembering also helps us live more fully in the here and now.

“Mindfulness isn’t difficult, we just need to remember to do it.” - Sharon Salzberg