gifts

Monday Musings 12-9-19

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I’ve been reflecting a bit on two seemingly opposite life philosophies. On the one hand, I’ve come to appreciate the long game - this idea that Rome wasn’t built in a day so to speak. A perspective that we can take time to deeply engage with something, whether that’s our career or our art. Parenting provided me with the ultimate long game perspective. I’m literally watching and guiding other human beings while they take decades to grow into themselves!

Years ago, when I was still in medical school trying to juggle parenting, studies, managing a home, and trying to pay some attention to my husband, a wise mentor suggested that yes, I could likely achieve all my goals if I stuck with them, but I certainly didn’t have to take them on all at once.

We complain about the lack of time we have, how busy we are, and how time flies, and this can certainly feel true. But what if we turn that sentiment on its head and instead consider that we do have time - if we’re willing to look at things from a long game perspective. I’ve had to do this in my relatively new career as a writer. One book, one blog post, one project does not make a writing career. I have to play the long game, and, in a way, it’s a relief. I don’t have to accomplish everything all at once. The long game view allows us time to grow, evolve, and even change our minds. It provides an opportunity to gain perspective and create something meaningful over time.

On the other hand, we have to live in the moment because this moment is the only one we are guaranteed. If we’re always looking to the future, if we don’t attend to the things and people that are truly a priority right now, we might miss out on something important.

I find when I am centered by gratitude, I’m anchored in the moment. When I appreciate the people I am with or the experience I am having right now, I’m not focused on the future. I am not thinking about the things I haven’t accomplished yet. I’m not critical of myself or of anyone else.

Some days, the long game perspective serves us well. Other days, we need to keep our head in the here and now. I think it’s a worthwhile to find balance between the two.

On another note…

I’ll be with Mike Squatrito and Heather Rigney at Ink Fish on Main Street in Warren, RI Saturday, December 14th from 1-3 pm. Signed books make great holiday gifts! Stop in and say hello.

Monday Musings 11-25-19

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The holidays are fast approaching and my to-do list is about to become unmanageable. There’s shopping, and cleaning, and cooking, and house guests…

I love the holidays, though, and I don’t want to get completely bogged down with chores and errands and stress. So, every year around this time, I tell myself the season doesn’t have to be exhausting, and I make a list (because lists are a thing for me) of go-to reminders to help me chill. Maybe you need these reminders too?

Simplify. Not everything is urgent. Some things really can wait. Edit the to-do list. The non-essentials will be there when the hectic holiday season is over.

Do a manageable amount every day. I’ve mentioned many times on this blog that I may have an OCD-level organizational system. But, when I take the time to use my calendar and plan ahead, I feel in control of my time. I’m proactive instead of reactive. This time of year, it’s especially important. It’s also important that I’m realistic. I simplify first, and then try to tackle a little something every day.

Ask for help. This is probably a hard one for most of us, but other people can contribute. I host most holidays, but the guests bring nearly all the food. My husband and I make our shopping list together and then divide it up. The kids all pitch in to catch up on laundry, get the guest rooms ready, etc.

Focus on experiences, not stuff. Years ago, we made a decision in our house not to go crazy with Christmas gifts for our kids. We decided they’d each receive three thoughtful gifts. Instead of focusing on one day of opening presents, we tried to create a season of experiences and memories for our family. Cookie baking day, tree trimming, attending A Christmas Carol, watching It’s a Wonderful Life the Friday after Thanksgiving. We have a whole list of traditions associated with the holidays that have nothing to do with shopping or presents. This approach creates a season of things we look forward to rather than a couple of days we need to stress out about.

I remind myself to enjoy the small moments, especially as my kids get older and we aren’t in the same place together very often. It is a busy time of year, but, it’s special too. I try not to lose sight of that.

Happy Thanksgiving!